


A Necessary Confession

by YuMe89



Series: Unhappy Endings [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt, Gen, M/M, One-Sided Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Panic Attacks, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29981052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuMe89/pseuds/YuMe89
Summary: Hey guy!This has been sitting in my files for over a year...and I always thought I'd do more with it, but I don't think I will.I kind of like how it hurts. I play with the idea of making a Series of unhappy endings, but I can't promise anything.Hope you Enjoy!
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Unhappy Endings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2211783
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	A Necessary Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guy!  
> This has been sitting in my files for over a year...and I always thought I'd do more with it, but I don't think I will.  
> I kind of like how it hurts. I play with the idea of making a Series of unhappy endings, but I can't promise anything.
> 
> Hope you Enjoy!

# A Necessary Confession

  


  
After all was said and done, Stiles did have to go back to his Internship and later College in Washington DC. It's not like he didn't want to, or wasn't ready to hightail it out of Beacon Hills again, but seeing Derek again, talking to him like normal people do, made him realize he had to talk to him in private. After getting his toe shot off- by a newbie Agent as it seemed- they had squatted down in Stiles shitty little single room apartment. It was the only one that would get paid for, so Stiles had taken that without question. He hadn't known he would be housing Derek's fugitive ass again for a while and recovering from a gun wound all the same.  


They had talked then, quite a lot even, but not about anything like this and now it wasn't an easy task.

It looked like Scott and Derek were conjoined twins now, always talking about their Wolvlihood and then some. But he did get his chance, the night before he had to leave again. Kind of poetic in it's own way.  


Scott was off with Malia somewhere, Lydia already at MIT, Peter still lurking around- although not in Beacon Hills, Stiles had checked just to be sure. So as he took the steps up to Derek's loft, he knew they would be alone. It made him feel giddy and a bit sick to his stomach.  


No backing out now, he had something to say and he knew, if he didn't tonight, he would never do it. And that would not be like him. He was known for talking too much and blurting out his emotions.  


As he climbed the last flight of stairs he really was ready to barf. _No, no, don't think about throwing up, just knock and blabber like always and leave. Easy peasy._ He could feel his face contorting while talking to himself in his head. Pressing his lips together he came to a halt in front of the heavy metal slide-door and gulped before raising his hand and knocking. _Don't be a chicken shit, you can do this, it's just Derek. Maybe he will rip your throat out, but at least it's over quick._  


He heard a soft "Come in" and opened the door. Derek stood against his desk, back to his huge windows, watching him approach with a slight frown on his face. But even though he did that, he looked so much softer than a few years ago. Like someone who actually smiled from time to time. Stiles knew he did, Derek had even laughed at him for getting shot in such a hilarious way, when they had reached his apartment safely.  


"Hey." Stiles said, awkwardly waving and unsure how to start or if he really should at all. Derek's frown dissipated and he got a small smile in return. It looked a bit patronizing, but Stiles was going to ignore it. He wasn't here to banter.  


"Hello Stiles, what can I do for you at this hour?" the Werewolf asked, tilting his head questioningly to the side and Stiles knew, as his nostril's grew a bit wider, that he smelled his chemo signals. His smile was gone and the frown right back in an instant. "What." it wasn't a question this time, not really.  


Stiles felt sick again and his chin started to tingle a bit. The tell-tale sign of a panic attack, but he inhaled deep and took calming breaths to work through it. "I have to say something to you. And I am pretty sure you won't like it, but please don't kill me." he rushed out.  


He kept his distance, although he dared to get closer to Derek. They were maybe four feet apart. Stiles could see every miniscule change in Derek's expression. "So, go on and say it." he encouraged him- shrugging- trying to look relaxed about whatever Stiles was going to throw his way, but he was on edge. His arms were crossed and one of his thick brows raised in the slightest way possible. He looked impossibly open and closed off at the same time.  


Stiles suddenly realized, Derek was steeling himself for some ugly rant and insults and it kind of broke his heart.  
He swallowed a few times, before he was ready to talk again, his hands shook, so Stiles just rubbed them against his jeans a couple times, to no expanse. "Look, it's not as bad as you might think, really Derek. You don't have to say anything in return and I don't expect anything after finishing. I don't want to hurt you."  


He received a perplexed nod and Derek seemed to really calm down this time, leaning more against his table and resting his hands on either side of the edge. It made Stiles sad to know how much Derek needed to hear his last sentence. And it confirmed his decision to do this to be a good idea.  


"When we first met, I really hated you. And it took me an embarrassing long time to realize why and that I actually don't," he started, breaking eye contact and taking a deep breath. "I know this will sound creepy, but I know everything about you. I know about your failures and achievements. I know about the things you hate about yourself and think you can never be forgiven for. I know about everything you're proud of and what makes you smile. There really isn't much I don't know about you, because when you started to be a part of Scott's and my life, I researched more about you, than I did about Werewolves in general. I know about your biggest fear and I know, that you know mine." he took a second to let that sink in, because Derek's eyes started to shine more than usual at some point. Maybe out of embarrassment or maybe because he hurt his feelings, Stiles didn't know, but he thought taking a breather wouldn't be too bad.  


Stiles gulped down the bile rising up, because even though he said all this, it still wasn't the one thing that made him anxious right now. Derek looked gutted and it's horrible that Stiles even had to know how that looked. "I don't know for sure when or how, but I still fell in love with you. I love you, Derek," he stopped for a short while, seeing the shock and confusion on the others face.  
"Not because of your pretty face or unmistakably beautiful body and I don't ask you to return my feelings. I don't even ask you to accept me after this. I just wanted you to know, that there is someone in this world, who is still alive and loves you for who you are and I really hope that there will be someone, someday, that will love you the same way and that you can fall in love with. I want you to be happy, Derek." he hadn't noticed how emotional he got, but when he felt something tickle his cheeks softly, he knew he was crying. It was okay though, Derek was crying too. It's something Stiles would've never thought he would ever witness. Seeing this was a testament to how much Derek had changed.  


Before he could register what happened, Derek had gripped him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. Buried his face in Stiles neck and just held him. It took Stiles a moment to reciprocate it, but he slowly and gingerly put his arms around Derek's torso and rested his chin on Derek's shoulder, looking out of the window and at the stars outside.  


"Thank you." was what Derek finally said, even though he didn't have to say anything at all and it was much better than whatever Stiles had anticipated.

It took a while for them to break the hug and when they did, they both rubbed their eyes with their shirt sleeves and smiled helplessly at each other. As Derek filled his lungs with air, looking for all the world like someone doing it for the first time in a long while, Stiles knew his words would crush him.  


"I didn't know how much I needed to hear this, until you said it..." Derek started and looked away, his face changed, the happy tones vanished slowly and he got serious. There was a 'but' somewhere, Stiles just knew it and waited- braced himself- although he knew he would never be able to do it enough to really stop any damage. Derek looked him in the eyes and gestured towards him. "But you are a Pack member, maybe even like family. What I feel for you might be love, but on another level."  


He could've said _You're like a brother to me_ it would've had the same impact. He knew it, it fucking hurt.  
"I get it, I never expected anything in return. I just thought you should know." his voice sounded alien to himself. Probably because of the way he tried to hold it all together. He didn't want to cry again. Not yet.  


"I know and I am aware you're going back to College tomorrow, so we're not going to see each other for a while. I will give you space and won't indulge your feelings for me. I respect you too much to do so. I always thought you and Lydia were...but obviously you aren't." Derek said, his eyebrows questioning. He wanted to understand it.  


"We were together and we do love each other. Though this, with you, it runs deeper. I never knew I could love more than one person at a time, but it is possible. I guess it's just possible because I love you both differently. And I know, deep down, that I will never stop loving you, no matter what. But I won't make it any more awkward in the future, I promise." Stiles said, laughing humorless, his arms dangling back and forth, until he made the finger guns at Derek.  


The Werewolf seemed to contemplate something, while he watched Stiles squirm about his own awkwardness. Just as Stiles was about to take a step back, Derek got hold of one of his hands and pulled him closer. Stiles eyes widened, as he stared at Derek. "What-?" he started, but Derek cut him off, now inches apart.

"I'll do this, just once and we will never speak of it again." Derek said extremely serious, right before he kissed Stiles. His hands caressed his cheeks lightly, as if to erase the tear tracks completely and it almost made Stiles cry again, because the gesture was so soft and loving. He didn't dare touch Derek in any way, but he did kiss him back, deepening and memorizing it. His whole body was on fire and when Derek finally pulled away it was replaced by ice. His soul had never felt so complete, as in this stolen moment.  


"I know you did this to make me hate you, but you can't. I won't, no matter what you do," Stiles said, finally opening his eyes again. "I told you, I know you, Derek."

And with that he turned around and walked out of the loft. Derek didn't stop him, didn't say anything to deny it at last. That night, he cried himself to sleep, careful not to wake his dad and worry him in some way.  


The next day was a clean slate for him as he made his way back to College.

  


  



End file.
